Life and Death

Today I went to visit my grandma in the hospital. Now, usually when I go to the hospital it is me who is the patient. This time is was a whole other experience. After walking through the crazy maze of hallways I finally made it to the intensive care heart center of St. Luke's hospital. I walk in the door and I am faced the reality of things. My grandma looked so tiny and frail in her hospital bed. It was very hard for me not to cry but I didn't want to upset her so I put on a happy face. I talked with my aunts who have been keeping her company throughout the day and night. I tried to cheer her up by getting her a gift. She couldn't even tear the gift wrap off the present so I opened it for her. I got her a bed jacket, which old people always like because for some reason old people are always cold, even if it is 80 degrees outside. It put a smile on her face for just a minute. I wasn't planning on visiting her until Friday but I changed my plans when my Dad told me that she was having open heart surgery tomorrow morning. I just wanted to see her one last time in case something went wrong. Now I will be at peace no matter what happens. There is such a fine line between life and death. I unfortunately have had to deal with the deaths of two very close friends. Their families will never be the same. They are permanently scared. But, is it any easier to deal with the death of someone who has had a long fulfilling life? I want to say that I wish no one got old and died but that is just me being selfish. Also, I really believe that we as humans have no control of when our lives expire. When its your time, its your time whether you like it or not. So please send all of your positive energy towards me and my family and I will keep you all updated.